Helping Things Go Right – Taking Good Care of Yourself…
Helps Things Go Better For Your Children
It seems, lately, that I’ve had the opportunity to work with many families who have been struggling with, as they describe it, the “insanity cycle!” Maybe some of you might recognize it?
It’s the type of pattern that shows up when you come back from the Holidays, or a long weekend, or maybe even an overly busy week or day:
Parent:….you look at the list of things that need to get done – kids’ homework, dinner, baths, bedtime, report for work…..etc. Perhaps you feel a little lightheaded or it starts to spin just a bit? You recognize the signs, grit your teeth, and kick it into gear… “Okay, kids, let’s get going! We have a lot to get done in a little amount of time!”
“Pull, your homework out – and sit at the table!”
To your utter amazement (not), at least one child responses accordingly, “Whyyyyyyyy…….doooooo…..weeeeeeeeeee……haaaaavee tooooooo? I only got to play for a few minutes! Youuuuuu are beeeeeing soooo meeeeean!”
The whining grates on your nerves, you feel the irritation increase, your jaw clenches and you are ready to pounce! YOU FEEL THE INSANITY BUILDING!
STOP! RIGHT HERE!
THIS IS WHERE P.B. PARENTING© COMES IN!
USE the Peanut Butter approach, which also stands for Pause & Breathe!
Before you say a word, and if you possibly can, step into the hall, or next room (if not just close your eyes) and do the following:
Imagine that your mouth is filled with Peanut Butter, chew it down, how long does it take? A minute or so, correct? You can’t really say anything while your mouth is full of Peanut Butter, so, while you are chewing (imaginary), practice the other P&B….Pausing and Breathing. Take a deep breath and practice pausing…… and imagine yourself responding with empathy and compassion. (“You see the list of things to do…feelings of overwhelm come…P&B…..see yourself smile and say your mantra ‘Peanut Butter for mom, means sweetness for you!’)
By practicing this Pause (imagery) & Breathe (mantra in your head) when you are by yourself and in a good state of mind, it comes more naturally and soon you will find yourself using Peanut Butter Parenting© on a regular basis!
Start by taking care of you sooooo you can take care of them!
Have a great week and a PBJ on me!